Fostering Friday

Fostering Fridays are all about my journey as a foster mom, how I feel about it, the highs and lows, and how it affects my family. And of course, hoping to increase awareness and prayer for this challenging and very rewarding ministry.

This Friday marks a giant step toward the last leg of this journey with our little man.  We received news this week that things are finally on track for an adoption through recruitment. That means that families who are certified through DHS to adopt can apply their home studies, then one family will be chosen to be our little guys forever family! This is a HUGE relief and an answer to prayer. We want so much for this baby ( who is so not really a baby anymore) to be placed in a home with parents who are waiting and praying and aching for a child!

It's been a really long process to get to this point, so many things that had to fall into place and be worked out. There have been many times where I prayed over and over for my faith in our decision not to adopt would remain and that I could trust God to see this through to completion. It was scary to see that some less than ideal paths were considered, I wanted to take matters back into my own hands and just keep him here where I know he is safe and loved. Russ and I both, have revisited time and again whether we were to adopt this child. Each time we felt sure we are called to let him go. It was hard to trust God in that choice. Is it really going to be okay? Is God really watching and moving the pieces of the puzzle around to fit perfectly together? Can I trust Him and His sovereign plan even if this doesn't end the way I think it should? Doubts threatened to creep in like a fog and hang around my shoulders as I waited and waited for answers. And each day I cared for and loved this rambunctious boy and prayed that God would hold him tighter than I can.

With the news that he is now going to recruitment comes a rush of bittersweet feelings! I have met many families that are longing for someone to let go of a beautiful baby so they could have a child. I have seen the hole in their hearts as they wait and pray for it to be their turn to have the privileged to adopt. I'm thrilled that our boy will be heading to one of these homes. I am anticipating the resolution of this journey and the amazing gift we get to give to a family so desperately wanting this baby. But when we give that gift, it means we lose it. It  means our house doesn't have the wild joy of a toddler any longer. It means this little boy who has captured our hearts will move on to filling the hearts of his forever parents. And in the long run of life, we become a stop on the road to his forever family. My heart weeps for that moment of goodbye. My eyes sting with unshed tears when I think of giving him his last kiss, or holding his tiny hand for the last time. But for now, I'm just believing that what God has called us to, He will see us though. I feel like I should post that somewhere in our home to remind us that with Him even grieving the moving on of this child is possible. We will survive it, with joy, knowing he is cared for. I am abundantly blessed with my two beautiful children and until God leads us otherwise, we are are content to raise them to know God and to be compassionate for the orphans in this world. To show them that sometimes following God's plan hurts, but we can trust that the end will be worth it all.