Fostering Friday

 Fostering Fridays are all about my journey as a foster mom, how I feel about it, the highs and lows, and how it affects my family. And of course, hoping to increase awareness and prayer for this challenging and very rewarding ministry.

 As I sit here typing away, I hear the baby singing, humming, growling, and gurgling from his bed. He is supposed to be napping, but it sounds like he's having a gymnastic play date with his stuffed animals instead. These are some of the joys of fostering. I love having these moments of clarity where I recognize the joy and blessing of having this child in my home. We've had this precious boy for almost a year and a half! I never dreamed we would have one child so long! There are some pretty tough days, I'm not going to lie. Parenting a toddler is physically demanding and tiring! But as I listen to the happy babbling it speaks deeper to my heart. Here is a child who was taken out of a situation where he would have not been safe. He was placed in my arms and it's been up to my family to teach, raise and nurture this little guy! He is healthy, well adjusted, happy, social, spirited, developing normally, and affectionate.

I think of where he may have been without a foster family here to offer our best care. When he asserts his will and tries to slap my face, I tell him no and put him down. He throws a tantrum. Not a pretty picture, but what does it speak to the heart. This is a child who knows he can trust me, he's not scared that I'll abuse him. This is a child who feels free to have an opinion. This is a child who is secure in the love and consistent boundaries of his family. How different would the picture be if he had not been sheltered in this family? You can look at these typical toddler behaviors and get frustrated and annoyed or I can see them as a normal, thriving child who has been spared the horrors of this world. My perspective changes and it's easier to remember why we do what we do. Fostering is giving a second chance. A chance to flourish and not flounder, grow and not give up, feel safe and not scared. It's a gift we can give these children. 

As Christmas comes around I'm thinking more and more about gifts. I hope the gift I gave this baby takes him well beyond my care. I pray he will fiercely bond with his adoptive parents because we taught him it is right and safe to do so. I pray the gift of love, carries him through the transitions to come with grace and ease. Its so hard to begin thinking in terms of letting go of this child. I pray most of all that the gift I can give is a beautiful baby boy to a family longing for a child. It's easier to let go when I'm choosing to give and not view this as something taken away form me.

Thinking in terms of gifts helps me to remember that any of this is only possible through me because of the greatest gift ever received, my salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ. He is the enabler, I am the vessel. I can only bring a willing heart and he provides the rest. The fruit this child has benefited from only come from Christ. I make mistakes and am far from perfect but I serve the one who is perfect and He is capable of doing far more than I can even ask or think. He is the giver of all good things. Every good and perfect gift comes for Him! Thanks you Jesus for bringing me to my knees, reminding me of your love and helping me to show that to this precious little gift!